A Biography of Murray Enkin

That in high school or university, I could write a paper with the professor's eyes in mind, and bring it to a certain level. Or I could write it with the notion that I would let Daddy read it. Just that thought made me write more thoughtfully, follow a train of logic, go deeper, question the givens. This last was the main one: question the givens.
Every teaching from Daddy always has the J stroke. You know what I mean: when you paddle a canoe, any large sweeping paddlestroke is followed by a little switchback stroke to correct for oversteering in a certain direction, to keep the canoe on a straight course, to say, "Maybe there's truth in what I said, but take it with a grain of salt, because at one level it's real and at another level, like all teachings, it's nonsense. Question the givens."
I remember in the elevator after a prenatal class where Daddy was the priest of a new religion, psychoprophylaxis, prepared childbirth, I talked about his mention of effleurage, the stroking of the outside of the tummy, to comfort the inside. The idea that we can keep nerve endings busy on the skin, and take away receptor activity internally, where the discomfort is happening. "Don't take it too seriously", Daddy said.
Once a boy asked me to travel. Daddy said no. But then he said, "You're allowed to question me. You're allowed to give me your point of view". Oh. He's not going to do the deciding for me in this life..
Later, when he entitled a talk, "From Cradle to Credo", I wrote, "What Cradle? What Credo?" I had a laundry basket, not a cradle. And no credo was clear. My response to the writing pro mpt, "I grew up in a house filled with......", was "I grew up in a house filled with love and contradictions".
"You are what you pretend to be", Daddy reminds me. Expect inconsistency. Embrace uncertainty. Stand, at once, inside, and outside, seeing the absurdity of all things. All things except canoe trips, where motivations are real and the looncalls over the morning lake are what living is really about, where a J stroke really does keep the canoe steady on its course, keeps you from veering too far in any direction.
A biography of Murray Enkin. We paddled a canoe, my Mommy in the bow, calling out the rocks and the clear passage through the rapids, me in the middle, feeling loved, and my Daddy in the stern, paddling J strokes.

The Family Kipa

There is a quality of light called, "The Wolbromski beauty". You see it shine in eyes and cheeks, a calm, laughing reverence for togetherness and life. Last night saw it surrounding the chupa made of grapevines in the Judean Hills, a weddingplace steeped in biblical tradition and historical longing. The laughing reverence sparkled lovingly from under the chupa, as Lavi, a young grandson of Mommy's sweet uncle Abchu stood, his cheeks, his eyes, glowing the Wolbromski beauty with a special chen, with his bride Yael, the two surrounded by delighted family. The rabbi instructed all the guests, gathered in the grass around the chupa, that our biggest wedding gift to the new couple is our hearty "Amen" to all the traditional blessings, to launch them into a life of gila, rina, ditza, chedva, ahava, achva, shalom v'reut. Love in all of its forms, joylove, delightlove, respectlove, lovelove, friendlove, peacelove, lovelovelove. Amen. Amen. Each blessing was given by a different uncle, (with of course Mommy's Chagall forms floating above the chupa, Zaidie's mother Aidl, may her memory shower blessings on these sparkling children who carry forward the Wolbromski beauty, Zaidie's sisters and brothers, Golda, Ruchele, Abchu and Shimon, all of whom had children and grandchildren present at the wedding, and Zaidie's other sisters and brothers, who didn't live to see children and grandchildren.) When it was the turn of Yossi Bar to make a blessing, a quick scurried search for a kipa led him to borrow the kipa of his brother Dani, father of the chatan. Yossi made the blessing, then smilingly placed Dani's kipa back on his head, all with the Wolbromski beauty, the laughing reverence for family togetherness and Israel and life. Mazal Tov to beautiful Lavi and Yael. June 2 is a good day to be married.