Speech Therapist Victoria BC

Here follow my notes for a homily, to be presented on January 22, 2017. Introduction *"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." These words are from George Bernard Shaw. I'll take it further. Communication can't happen until we let go of all our expectations from the other person. Lisa Genova, neuropsychologist and author of the novel Still Alice, tells how the Yes-And notion from Improv theatre helped her communicate with her grandmother who had Alzheimer's and didn't recognize her. Here's the Yes-And idea. If you're on stage and the other actor says "Look at my magic flying carpet", the show will go nowhere if you say, "That's no flying carpet. That's a doormat. "Yes-And" has the improv actor asking, "What year is that flying carpet? What kind of mileage do you get on it?". Lisa Genova didn't spend her time convincing her grandmother of who she was. She'd forget anyway. She related right now to her, chatting and cuddling and bringing her tea. Dementia is the extreme, and I work with the extremes of nonverbal autism, people who have no speech at all, and with people who have what's called high functioning autism Or Asperger's Syndrome, called a mild disorder but in reality a huge and potentially debilitating disability, as well as a gift. Today we'll explore the reasons why Communication is impossible. the term "Neurodiversity" is used to refer to people who are diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum but we are all NeuroDiverse. I'm in here, You're out there. Communication is impossible. After we establish that Communication is impossible, I'll tell you about my work as a Speech Language Pathologist, and my credo that all people can and do communicate. A sweet young couple told me their little girl, we'll call her Emily, couldn't communicate at all. Emily was doing a puzzle, and I thought I'd join in, holding up two puzzle pieces so she'd choose one, bringing me into the game. Emily started banging her head on the carpet in a very obvious protest. I hadn't noticed that she does this puzzle in a specific order. I looked to the parents. She communicates. Loud and clear. Are we listening to her? I go on the assumption that all people can communicate. Whether through speech or signing or pictures or typing or blinking, Communication is possible. I'd like to share with you some of the methods we use in Speech Therapy, and to explore the possibility that these techniques may help us NTs to communicate. NTs? If NeuroDiversity refers to people on the Autism Spectrum, NTs are NeuroTypicals. I'm not sure there are any NTs. In short, we'll explore why Communication is impossible, we'll learn some speech therapy techniques that make communication possible for people who can't talk, and we'll close by listing some habits that can improve communication for all of us. 1. Communication is Impossible Let's begin with the idea that communication is impossible. We all enjoy talking about how impossible translation between languages is. Words like the Yiddish Chutzpah, or the Japanese "genki", some shining positive and productive smiling energy. These words have to be spoken in their own languages. I wonder if we can understand them at all if we are not steeped in each culture? Well, we're all unique. Maybe we're all neurodiverse. Different brains. Never assume that what you mean by a word is what the other person interprets. Check. Robert McCloskey said, "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant". There's another reason that communication is impossible. It has to do with the species that we are. We have trouble with paradox, with contradictions. We can't handle contradictory requirements like, "Be Direct and Clear" versus "Use your social filter. Think about how the other person might feel" "Be honest" versus "Be Kind" "Stay with the problem until it's solved" vs "Let it go". "Stick to your principles" vs "Be flexible" "Be what the other person needs you to be" vs ""Fill your own needs". How can we be there for the other person, mindreading what that other person needs from us, and at the same time true to our own values and filling our own needs? Maybe the whole thing is impossible and the process of trying, getting it wrong, trying again, and truly truly caring that the message get through, maybe that is what being human is all about. Alone inside this skin, reaching out to connect. Often succeeding. I believe we can all succeed. I'll show you some of the tricks we use with NeuroDiverse people.