Saturday, April 11, 2009

An Exquisite Balance

Tiferet is a beautiful word, balancing the overflowing love we feel for someone, with the firm expectations and standards we feel for that person. Mmmm, Tiferet in our feelings towards ourselves, balancing that beautiful love we feel for ourselves (I keep this handy when needed by looking at the photo over my desk: framed in flowers, a picture of me at age 1 minute, a tiny babe on Mommy's chest, Mommy gazing at her new baby with sweet,entire love) with the firmness I hear in Mommy's voice, years later, when she would say, "Now look, girl", and talk some sense into me, usually when I was wallowing in self-doubt and pity. Tiferet balances my high standards for myself, with a total love for myself. The key here is that it is not "halfway between", a pinking of the two. It is the extremes both existing at the same time in their fullness: I love totally, entirely, my chesed is 100%. This balances with "I expect the best from you, my standards are 100%". A dynamic, forever correcting balance between chesed and gevurah makes TIFERET, beauty. Here's Simon Jacobson's instruction:
Day Three: Tiferet of Chesed

There is love and there is beautiful love. True love includes empathy and compassion which makes it a beautiful love. Love is often fostered in expectation of reciprocity. Real love is expressed even when one gets nothing in return; even when the other doesn't deserve love. Tiferet is giving also to those that have hurt you. It acknowledges the discipline of gevurah and says that, nevertheless, compassionate love calls for helping all.

Exercise for the day: Offer a helping hand to a stranger.

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